Hello dear readers! Ideal sleep is full, strong and lasts at least 7 hours at night without frequent waking up. Well, how is this possible, you say, if the baby now and then wakes up several times a night?
Indeed, having small children, you can forget about a good rest at night for a long time. However, the rules in the family are set by the parents, not their child. Therefore, if you decide to bring your night's sleep with your child closer to ideal, then start with compliance.
Organization of children's sleep
Ideally, a healthy baby wakes up in the morning at approximately the same hours. Sleep time should be age appropriate. So, a baby from birth to six months sleeps 16-18 hours a day, after six months 13-15 hours, after a year he sleeps about 13 hours a day. Based on this, it is necessary to monitor the duration of the day's rest. If you notice that the baby sleeps more than it should during the day, then you need to gently bring him out of sleep, otherwise he may confuse day with night. Usually children are happy if they see a face in front of them at the time of waking up, so there should be no problems.
When putting your baby to bed during the daytime, do not close the door or draw the curtains. At night, on the contrary, talk quietly, in case the child wakes up, do not turn on the bright light and do not play with him at night. Thus, from the very first days after birth, the baby will quickly learn to separate day and night.
A good rest at night for the whole family has the right to be, if the necessary conditions are created for this. So, the room in which the baby sleeps must be ventilated before going to bed. Timely, bed linen changes are also urgently needed. The air temperature in the room where the baby sleeps should not exceed 20 °, otherwise, he may often wake up at night from thirst. Try to spend the time before going to bed in a calm atmosphere so that the crumbs do not have emotional overexcitation.
Before putting him to bed, it is necessary to perform a ritual, thanks to which the child will learn to determine the time of going to bed. By repeating certain actions with your child every day, you will accustom him to falling asleep quickly and easily.
The ritual in each family is individual, but the scenario is approximately the same. After the last feeding, if they are already available. Next, choose what suits you and your baby best: watching fairy tales, reading books, relaxing music, rocking on your hands, etc.
A glimpse of the articles:
Co-sleeping with a child
Co-sleeping with your baby contributes to the fact that your nights will be quiet and calm, and your dreams will be long. You do not need to often get up to him to calm, feed or shake. This is especially true for children under one year old. They are in dire need of the constant presence of something warm and big nearby. And mom, just the thing.
Joint rest solves the problem of frequent waking up of the child at night, he finds the breast in a half-sleep, without waking up, feeds and sleeps on. The sleep phases of a child and an adult are significantly different. So in children, the period of deep sleep is shorter than in adults. The baby has a superficial sleep, the baby often wakes up at night, and so that sleep is not interrupted, you should give him a breast or. With age, the phase of superficial sleep is shortened, the baby sleeps stronger and longer.
If you put your child to sleep separately from yourself, you should dress him so that when he opens, he will not be cold. Your baby will sleep more comfortably if you put some of your clothes next to him. The smell of mother will give a feeling of calm. For older children, put a favorite toy in bed.
The ideal sleep is one in which all family members get enough sleep. In your family, you decide how, where, at what time and with whom your child sleeps, the main thing is that his physiological needs are taken into account and the duration of sleep is age-appropriate.
In conclusion, I want to pay attention to whether the baby’s dad gets enough sleep, because he often gets the most when an addition appears in the family. Men do not have the opportunity to lie down at work if their night was sleepless, but we can do this, especially if.
Men are also at risk while driving, chronic lack of sleep causes eyes to close even if a person is in a standing position, to say nothing of driving.
Take care of the fathers of your kids, send them to sleep in a separate room, do not force them to get up at night and mess with the child, there are weekends, holidays, vacations, time after work for this.
Joint sleep with a child Komarovsky
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And now I have a problem with this ... Until 2.5 months, we slept perfectly in our bed. Woke up at 4-5 o'clock to eat. And now... Now we are 3.5 months old. For more than three weeks, some kind of horror has begun to boil down - wakes up every 30-40 minutes, wants nothing but breasts. Tried to lay down with us - spinning all night and trying to get up. The ritual before going to bed was not changed - 20.30 bathing, changing clothes, eating and sleeping at 21.00. Now I go to bed at 21 and wakes up in half an hour. I pump - falls asleep. I put it in the crib - after 15 minutes it raises its legs to the head and there is no sleep. How to be? How to fix it all? I completely agree that co-sleeping is not the norm. Please tell me. I asked one sleep consultant, they said that co-sleeping is the norm, all animals sleep with cubs and sleeping with a breast in their mouth is good. In general, this consultant did not suit me. All references to sleep regression and to the norm. Help please, already as a zombie with her husband.
31/01/2017 19:28
Let me share my little experience. We have never practiced co-sleeping. My daughter sleeps all night in her crib next to us, wakes up around 6-7 in the morning, asks us (but this is rare) and sleeps for a couple more hours. At her age (1 year 9 months), sleeping together is a dubious pleasure for her too ... because we wake her up with our turning over, and for us ... because she is already big and she needs to wave her big legs and arms .. We have to constantly correct and bring her in the correct position in bed .. As a result, neither mom nor dad gets enough sleep)) Of course, when she was smaller and sometimes slept with us (when teeth ... whims ... and it's hard to get up and go to the crib 10 times a night ) it didn’t feel that way because of its size))) I think every family has its own ideal dream! The main thing is that everyone is comfortable!
29/01/2017 17:03
I like to listen to the Doctor, but in this aspect we will remain unconvinced. Sleeping since birth with a baby, I prefer to sleep at night (breastfeeding if required) rather than jumping up on demand. The second was born - the same situation. Although the crib is attached close, and after a year the child himself rolls back onto it after feeding. After the birth of the second, a second attached bed appeared, but already from the side of the pope, for the elder)). Therefore, everyone has their own place, but we usually sleep together))) so children feel closeness and love better))
29/01/2017 12:55
Russia, Saint-Petersburg
And if you also remember how many babies, and sometimes not very small ones, paid with their lives for co-sleeping, being simply crushed by their parents in a dream ... I have seen several such cases. Then I didn’t have my own child yet, but I firmly decided by their example that there would never be any joint sleep with a baby in my family ....
20/01/2017 12:41
atlee, my child is 1.4. From birth he slept in his own bed, but at 10 months we went to the country. And then he moved into our bed. I started retraining to separate sleep a couple of months ago with the help of long and tiring walks in the fresh air, after which he didn’t care where he was laid. Still, for me, separate sleep is a more acceptable option.
Evgeny Olegovich, hello!
Could you answer, what is your opinion not only as a man and a family psychologist, but also as a pediatrician about the joint sleep of mother and child? After reading most of the materials on your site, I found only references to the fact that a woman is a social being, she should sleep not with a child, but with her dad, as a result of the opposite behavior, family conflicts arise.
But let's remove dad for simplicity of life. We will take a single mother, or a dad who works night shifts, or a dad - a creepy owl (goes to bed at 8 in the morning, when the child is already waking up). Let's take a cave so beloved by you (and by me in the fight against grandmothers :). It is unlikely that a woman will allocate a place for a child a few meters away from herself - why? It is much more convenient to keep him close - you do not need to equip an extra bed, crawl somewhere, feed in the middle of the night. The child is nearby, feels the warmth of the mother's body, calms down, you can feed again, almost without waking up. Solid convenience for both, isn't it? What could be more natural?
My question to you is caused by the fact that now it has somehow become very fashionable to sleep with a child. In many ways, this, apparently, is the result of the aggressive propaganda of all kinds of schools like "Rozhana", which strongly suggest to women that if they do not breastfeed a child up to 4 years old 12 times a day, do not sleep with him, do not carry him in a sling, do vaccinations for up to a year and generally do not spend 24 hours a day with a child - they are not mothers, but vipers, they will not have an emotional connection with children and they will end their days in a nursing home, not visited by mentally cold children. And pregnant women and young mothers are suggestible creatures (do not you know).
Our masseuse shared her observation that in some St. Petersburg families that she happened to visit for work, there are no cribs - children always sleep with their parents. And sometimes the family sleeps together, and sometimes dad goes to the kitchen sofa or on the floor. Is there such a "fashion" in Ukraine? What do your personal statistics say? How do you feel about this phenomenon?
Is there any harm to the child in this, in your opinion? My experience of sleeping with a child (girl, 3 months old, development is normal) - just in case, it’s suddenly interesting: if everything is calm and the child is sleeping, he is sleeping in his crib. However, it happens that her tummy bothers her at night - and then it’s easier for me to put her with me and periodically massage or stick a sedative pacifier while she is still half asleep, otherwise she will wake up completely - then coax ... Or in the morning she starts to be active, but I still I want to sleep - then again I take it to me, feed and hug - she warms up and falls asleep. As a result, my sleep is prolonged, which is important :) Of the minuses, I can note that I can’t get a deep and full sleep with a child (I tried to sleep with her all night a couple of times) - you are afraid to hurt, crush, push out of bed - so you wake up periodically to make sure that's all right. If you find time to answer, I will be grateful :)
Hello Natasha!
To begin with, I note that, being a pediatrician and a man of a traditional orientation, I do not at all pretend to wear the proud and now fashionable title of "family psychologist". Those. My opinion on such an interesting issue cannot be considered as a recommendation of a specialist. I am only formulating my position based on a considerable experience of communication and observation of those who implement various options for co-sleeping in everyday life.
The initial concept is obvious: there is not and cannot be a clear rule in this matter. Each family determines the sleep system itself, and this system should be convenient for a particular family, and not for a pediatrician or psychologist. The opinions of the mentioned experts are deeply secondary - if you feel good, if all family members are satisfied with this situation - sleep as you want. If the formulated rule is taken as an axiom, then the following becomes clear: most of today's psychologists have nothing to do with psychology. After all, the essence of psychological assistance is quite obvious - the creation of psychological, emotional comfort in a particular family or a particular person. But it is our psychologists who are distinguished by amazing aggressiveness - you write about it yourself. Everyone who does not agree to sleep as expected, feed as expected, give birth as expected, are enemies of progress and are not worthy of being parents. What could be stranger than an aggressive psychologist?
First of all, I am for treating all this calmly - without anguish. Is it bad for a baby to sleep with mom? Not harmful. If conditions are met:
The bed meets the necessary requirements;
Flat hard mattress, no pillow, the child is not able to fall out, bed linen of proper quality, washed and ironed as expected;
Parents are able to control their sleep so as not to harm the child;
Parents are satisfied with such a sleep pattern (I emphasize that it is the parents who suit them, and not just one parent).
Now let's pay attention to two mutually exclusive provisions from your letter. 1. "The child is nearby, feels the warmth of the mother's body, calms down, you can feed again, almost without waking up. Solid convenience for both, isn't it? What could be more natural?" 2. "Let's remove dad for simplicity of life." There is no doubt that the exclusion of the pope should under no circumstances be regarded as natural. Our dads don’t really pamper their children with their attention, and if they are still deliberately excluded ... A huge number of families are destroyed precisely because a woman after childbirth does not have the opportunity, skill, desire to be distracted for some time from the child and pay attention to your husband. Valuable instructions regarding the fact that a man should "enter her position", understand, help and suffer - in practice they do not work at all. And the only way to reach a consensus all the time is to share a bed. If you also exclude it, then the problem of co-sleeping will be noticeably simplified. Indeed - as soon as you consciously turned into a single mother, it does not matter who you sleep with - with a child or with a wet pillow ...
It is impossible not to mention one more paradoxical moment in this aspect. As you quite rightly noted, "pregnant women and young mothers are suggestible creatures" - but they are the ones who tend to read all this psychological nonsense, which cannot be said about pregnant men and young fathers. The stay of an infant near its mother - in constant bodily and spiritual contact with her, 24 hours a day - is an absolutely natural phenomenon. This is an instinctive need of a child, but the practical implementation of the mentioned instinct introduces serious restrictions on a woman's lifestyle, and such restrictions do not always have a positive impact on the quality of life itself. However, this instinct does not fundamentally affect the physical and mental health of the infant. It is impossible to prove otherwise. Well, except to mention that the aggression of psychologists is precisely due to the fact that in early childhood, parents did not take them to bed with them.
The child gets used to the lack of constant contact with the mother surprisingly quickly. In the cave, as soon as mommy left, it becomes cold, but not in the apartment. Contact with the mother was interrupted, but the child is full, he is not cold, not wet, not hot - what is there to yell in vain. And with a normal care system, a child gets used to an isolated sleep in 2-3 days. If you teach from the moment you return from the hospital. The opposite situation is no less obvious - the longer the child is in the parent's bed, the more difficult it is to get him out of there. And if you think that he will sleep with his mother until he is a year old, and then he will voluntarily move to his bed - you are so mistaken. All the same, measures of pedagogical influence will be needed, all the same, psychological trauma will be inevitable.
Final provisions and specific answers. Your contacts with your children and your children's care for you in old age are determined primarily by the system of life values adopted in your family. With the highest possible probability, the daughter will treat her mother exactly as her mother treats her grandmother. Claims that on-demand feeding and co-sleeping are a way to ensure a peaceful old age surrounded by loving children and grandchildren, in my opinion, do not stand up to criticism, have nothing to do with evidence-based medicine or evidence-based psychology.
Fortunately, I do not observe fashion for a joint sleep with a child in Ukraine. But there are some heroic enthusiasts. My personal statistics show that co-sleeping with children has more disadvantages than advantages. It easily takes root in families where the joint sleep of mom and dad was not practiced even before the birth of the child - where there are separate mom and dad's bedrooms, where mom does not get enough sleep because of dad's snoring, where there is no dad, after all. Under the conditions mentioned above, sleep in the parent's bed does not have any negative impact on the health of the child.
Summary. Listen less and read all sorts of nonsense. Don't let anyone in your bed and don't let other people's opinions about what to do in bed influence you. Remember: everything that you do in your bed with your husband or with your child is your own business. If you and your "companions" feel good, then it should be so. If it's bad, either change the partner, or move the child to his own bed.
Some experts advocate co-sleeping, pointing to the undeniable benefits. Other experts point out the numerous disadvantages of such a holiday. In order for mothers to make their own decision, it is necessary to consider the arguments of both sides and carefully study the recommendations of pediatricians and psychologists.
The popularity of co-sleeping
In the modern world, educational habits and traditions actively “travel” from country to country, forcing parents to reconsider their previous opinions and knowledge. For example, today Russian mothers are increasingly using slings (dressings for carrying babies), feeding babies on the first call and starting to practice falling asleep and sleeping together. But is it really beneficial to sleep with a child in the same bed?
Experts working with newborn babies - pediatricians, neonatologists, perinatal psychologists, breastfeeding consultants - have a very ambiguous attitude to this phenomenon. Some campaign for co-sleeping, persuading parents that it strengthens the mother-child bond.
The latter, on the contrary, are wary or directly negative, believing that a born baby should have his own bed from birth, and keeping a child next to him only increases the risk of all kinds of negative consequences, including (SIDS).
To help moms make their final decision and navigate the intricacies of scientific opinion and interpretation, here are the pros and cons of shared sleep. All this will allow you to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of joint falling asleep.
Reasons for co-sleeping
The benefits of shared time in bed are commonly discussed by perinatal psychologists and breastfeeding specialists. Let's take a closer look at their arguments.
- Natural Feeding Optimization. At night, the child receives the amount of milk secretion that he needs for optimal development. Thus, co-sleeping can be considered an addition to this type of breastfeeding, such as breastfeeding. That is, the mother, at the first call of the baby, provides the breast, including at night.
- Optimization of lactation. A child who stimulates the mother's breasts during the day and night helps to establish a long-term. Therefore, the more often the baby suckles the breast, the more milk secretion will be released from the woman. In addition, it is at night in the body that the highest level of prolactin, a hormonal substance that affects milk production, is observed.
- The best adaptation to the new world. It is believed that a child who has spent 9 months in his mother's belly will feel better in the same bed with his mother, as he receives an additional feeling of warmth and security. Physical intimacy can reduce stress and improve the functioning of the nervous system.
- Improving your baby's sleep. A child falling asleep on his chest quickly sinks into the "embrace of Morpheus." It is enough for mom to put him next to him, there is no need to get up, put him down, be afraid that he will wake up after being placed in a separate bed. That is, you can forget about sleep problems.
- Improving mom's sleep. A woman does not have to get up regularly to feed the baby. As a result, the mother feels rested, less irritable. And this affects the baby himself, and the spouse, and older children. Although, of course, this does not negate the change of diapers and diapers.
Some mothers, especially those who have given birth for the first time, feel better when the baby is nearby. Judge for yourself: you open your eyes and see that the baby is quite sniffing, covered with a blanket, you can hear his even breathing.
Arguments against co-sleeping
There are quite weighty arguments and opponents of a common night's rest with a child. Most often, their arguments relate to the inferiority of intimate relationships between spouses and the possible addiction of the baby to sleep in the parent's bed.
- Inability to completely relax. Many women are not able to fully relax and fall asleep peacefully when a small body is nearby. This is due to the fear of crushing the baby in a dream or wrapping him in a blanket so tightly that he will suffocate. As a result, mom simply does not get enough sleep.
- Violation of intimacy. The status of newly minted moms and dads in no way negates the love for each other and the desire to retire. And since there is a child in the bed, it will not be possible to fully enjoy intimacy (a similar problem, in principle, is easily solved, since having sex is not necessarily exclusively on the parent's bed).
- Problems with accustoming the baby to a separate room. It's no secret that babies who are initially accustomed to sleeping in their own bed are much more likely to get used to moving to a separate room. In addition, they will not need to reread a lot of fairy tales before bed or sing 10-15 lullabies in the evening.
- Difficulty falling asleep in a child. Research by foreign scientists suggests that children who are accustomed to sleeping separately from birth are less likely to suffer from nightmares than babies whose parents practiced co-sleeping. That is, two-three-year-old children do not suffer from the thought that terrible monsters are hiding under their beds.
Some men are categorically against the presence of a child in the marital bed. And the point here is not only in intimate relations with his wife, but also in the fact that the newborn wakes up quite often, screams and, accordingly, wakes up his parents. Dad has to go to work in the morning.
Evgeny Komarovsky, a popular TV doctor and assistant to mothers in raising babies, is convinced that co-sleeping is wrong.
At the same time, he leaves this issue at the mercy of mothers, since it is the woman who should decide how it is more convenient for her to sleep - with or without a child. But why is it wrong to have a baby in a parent's bed? The doctor is confident that co-sleeping can increase the risk of SIDS.
This alone is enough, according to the pediatrician, to give up this pastime. E. O. Komarovsky advises to leave the baby in the parent's room during the neonatal period.
This will track his sleep and improve lactation. After optimizing lactation, the child can be transferred to a separate room, and control can be established using a radio or video baby monitor.
If the parents put the baby in his bed because he often wakes up, then it means that they could not establish a regimen and establish a lifestyle. The doctor is sure that if the child is not overheated, bathed before falling asleep, spent a fairly active day, ate well, then at night he simply “no need” to wake up.
Consolidation of positions
If you still have not decided which is better - to sleep with a child or separately, you can choose the average option. It takes into account both the needs of a newborn baby and parental interests, and also allows parents not to go to extremes. Depending on the age of the baby, parents can follow the following rules:
- from 0 to 5 months. The baby can fall asleep nearby with his mother, but in his own bed (the so-called side models, in which one of the walls is removed). In this case, he feels his mother, feels her closeness, and it is convenient for a woman to feed the baby - just put it on her chest. In addition, the risk of crushing the baby in a dream is excluded;
- 5 - 12 months. At this age, the child can already sleep in a separate bed with a side wall installed. The children's bed is located either in the parent's room or in a separate room. But in the latter case, you need a device for control. Such a separation will gradually reduce the number of night feedings and provide a sound and long sleep for all family members;
- after 1 year. Usually at this age, children are ready to move to a separate room. That is, at night, the baby sleeps in his own crib in the nursery, but during the day, parents can safely take him to their bed and relax together. This separation allows everyone to sleep: both kids and the older generation.
Of course, co-sleeping is possible after one year of age in some situations. For example, mom and dad can take the baby to themselves if he is sick, scared of a nightmare, and even in the morning, when the child comes running to his parents to sleep.
Rules for safe co-sleeping
If you still decide to practice co-sleeping, then you must adhere to a number of rules. First of all, you need to enlist the support and consent of your spouse. If the husband is not against such a night's rest, you need to properly organize a sleeping place and create comfortable conditions for all participants in the "process".
In addition, the problem of having the skills to breastfeed an infant in a supine position must be taken into account. Another important point is the size and shape of the mammary glands. If the breasts are large, it is necessary to consult with a breastfeeding expert.
There are also a few things to keep in mind:
- first you need to practice sleeping with your child during the day, and only then switch to a joint night's sleep;
- it is necessary to choose an orthopedic mattress that would not fall under the weight of the child;
- the baby should not be laid with his head on the pillow; in extreme cases, a diaper can be used as this;
- it is important to regularly change bed linen, and it is generally better to lay the baby in its own diaper;
- it is necessary to lay the child between the mother and the wall (or side), it should not be placed between the parents;
- it is necessary to remove various blankets, bedspreads, pillows, into which he is able to bury his nose, away from the baby;
- you can’t put the baby in the parent’s bed if one of the adults has taken alcohol or sedatives;
- if mom or dad is sick with an infectious disease (colds, skin ailments), they refuse to sleep together.
If you have tried co-sleeping and have some problems (inadequate rest, difficulty feeding the baby in the supine position), you should consider sleeping separately.
The choice is yours
After reading this and other articles on the topic of co-sleeping with a child, parents can understand that among experts there is no consensus on this issue. And this is quite natural, since almost any issue of the upbringing and development of children is characterized by contradictory descriptions and value judgments on the part of specialists.
As noted above, pediatricians, psychologists, neonatologists give various arguments in favor of sharing a night's sleep with a baby, describe various benefits. However, there are some drawbacks to this measure as well.
What should moms do? Regardless of the different trends and popular trends in parenting practice, parents must make a decision based on their own desires and needs of the children. It is important to take into account the views of both spouses.
If adults feel comfort and happiness from being in a family bed, then it is quite possible to continue practicing co-sleeping. However, if any member of the household (for example, a father) is uncomfortable or wants to sleep separately from the child, this fact must be taken into account.
As a conclusion
Parenthood is hard work, so it is not surprising that mom and dad want (and need) to get enough sleep at night and recuperate. Therefore, placing a child in a parent's bed is a rather bold act that should be fully considered.
In any case, the final decision on the admissibility of such a holiday should be made exclusively by the spouses, guided not only by the needs of the child, but also by their own desires. After all, the most important thing is the joy and comfort of all family members, the rest of the parents, who will then bring up their little treasure.
What dream unites all new parents? Of course, except for the one that concerns the health and happiness of the child - this desire does not depend on the parental experience and the age of the child. But in the first days, weeks, months after the appearance of a newborn in the house, all dads and especially moms want one thing: sleep. There are several "experienced" tricks on how to do this. And one of them is co-sleeping with the baby.
Options for co-sleeping a child with parents: a shared bed or side bed
This concept can be considered in two planes: the baby sleeps in the same bed with his parents, or he sleeps in his own crib, but it is with the front wall lowered or removed and attached to an adult bed.
A couple of decades ago, doctors absolutely denied co-sleeping, considering it to be pampering. However, perinatal psychologists were able to prove its benefits and convince many experts that such a rest still does more good than harm.
Of course, the main task of co-sleeping is to make it as easy as possible for the mother to take care of the newborn at night. And above all, this applies to night feedings. If the little one lies with you on the same bed or in his bed located in the immediate vicinity, then eating does not bother either his mother or himself.
The main advantage of co-sleeping is that the mother feels the baby at any time.
However, a number of questions arise, primarily related to how long it is worth practicing sleep together, as well as how to complete it. But first things first. So, the pros and cons of sleeping in the same bed.
The ability to stay up at night and other benefits for mother and baby
In addition to the main thing - convenience for breastfeeding - this practice has a number of positive aspects:
If the child is bottle-fed, sleeping together is also important: the baby gets more tactile contact, cries less at night, and parents have the opportunity to sleep.
Organization Guide: Safe Postures
If you are supporters of joint sleep, then it would be useful to take into account a number of important nuances in order to properly organize such a vacation.
- Baby should sleep on mom's side. No matter how strong the mother's sleep is, to crush the baby in a dream - if a woman is in good health, she does not drink, does not smoke and does not use medications that act on the nervous system - the mother will not be able to. Another thing is a young father, who is especially tired at work.
Scientists have proven that a young mother produces a special hormone that allows her to better feel the baby, including in her sleep.
It is easier to teach a baby to sleep separately after a side bed - this is a definite plus of this method of organizing sleep. It is enough to gradually move the child's bed away from the parent. The speed of this process will depend on the temperament of your little one and the frequency of meals at night. Although pediatricians recommend starting the process of "separation" no earlier than 6 months. The only drawback is that the size of such a bed is often not designed for children older than 6-8 months. But you can solve the problem simply: remove the wall from an ordinary crib and adjust the height of the bottom.
Cons: why sleeping with a baby can be dangerous
As with everything, this medal has a downside. And it's not just that children who sleep with their parents are more attached to them than those who grow up without co-sleeping. There are a number of other factors that worry young parents, who weigh the positive and negative aspects of sleep along with the baby.
- The risk of crushing the child. In the people, this phenomenon is called "sleep". The fact is that in a dream it is difficult for an adult to control himself, that is, not to roll over to where the little one is resting. Although doctors deny this myth: by nature, mothers are programmed not to harm their baby, so if a woman does not drink, does not take drugs (substances that affect the nervous system), then there is nothing to be afraid of.
This is interesting. Some especially suspicious persons are afraid that when the baby eats at night, while the mother is asleep and does not control the process, the little one may suffocate under the pressure of the chest. This is a myth, since all babies are snub-nosed from birth - this is how nature protects them from suffocation in the process of pressing to the chest during feeding.
This argument can be countered by the opinion of a number of sexologists who argue that the baby's stay in the parental bed encourages adults to look for new ways to find time and place for each other. And this, in turn, perfectly refreshes the intimate relationship of the spouses.
Some doctors argue that sleeping with a child is not hygienic, they say, dangerous germs can be in the parent's bed. But at the same time, most doctors do not share this opinion, since the child must be accustomed to a non-sterile environment. The main thing is to change bed linen as often as possible. Doctors recommend doing this 2 times a week.
When not to sleep with a baby
There are a number of reasons why you should not even start co-sleeping - there will be much more negative consequences than positive ones:
- mom and/or dad smoke;
- one of the parents has skin diseases;
- on the parent's bed is too soft, for example, a latex mattress and a lot of bedding (blankets, bedspreads, etc.);
- the mother has sleep problems due to increased anxiety (that is, she is afraid to crush the baby, which is why she wakes up every 5 minutes, cannot fall asleep for a long time, etc.) when the baby sleeps nearby.
At what age and how to end co-sleeping
Some child psychologists claim that co-sleeping with a baby is beneficial up to 6 months of age. Further, the little one will be more difficult to "convince" that he should sleep separately. It is no coincidence that six months of age is identified as a turning point for stopping sleep with parents. At this age, the child begins to move more and more actively, receives the first complementary foods, the connection with the mother becomes a little weaker. So it's time to shift the little one to his crib. Although mom will have a hard time at first: the little one has already gained enough weight, so lifting him several times a night, if he is capricious, will be strength training.
There is another opinion, the supporters of which are also quite a lot: joint sleep with parents can be practiced up to 2-3 years, that is, until the age when the child begins the period “I myself!”, concerning all spheres of his life and sleep including.
The first nights of learning to sleep separately for many parents seem like hell on earth, but this stage must be experienced.
The principle of weaning a baby from co-sleeping is gradual.
And this applies not only to night, but also to daytime rest. There is no single instruction on how to wean a baby from sleeping with parents. In most cases, the established ritual of going to bed helps.. That is, every day at the same time you bathe the child, dress in your favorite soft pajamas, read fairy tales to him at night (sing songs) and sit with him until he falls asleep.
Do not immediately force the baby to sleep alone all night. There is nothing wrong if you pump it up at night and put it with you for the first time after 1-2 hours.
It is a completely different matter if you wean a toddler for 2-3 years. Firstly, at this age, children are already able to listen and hear adults, so take the time to explain that all adults sleep in their beds, and not with their mother. And if you accompany these explanations with a solemn purchase of his crib or sofa personally, then the success of quickly getting used to sleeping separately is 50%.
Secondly, at 2-3 years old, the little ones are very sensitive and greedy for praise, so be sure to praise the baby if he sleeps all night - all daytime sleep - in his place. And again, do not scold if he stomps to you in the middle of the night - after all, he really can have a terrible dream. Remember that the main victory is to teach the little one to fall asleep in his bed alone.